golden rule number 1
it's not about you what someone else say or does to your is never about you don't take what another person say personally you only run the risk to become defensive and the situation will most likely escalated into conflict people only communicate from their own history and their own needs what can you do look for the deeper underline meaning of the communication what is the other persons needs mastering rule number 1 is certainly not easy to be self aware enough and detached enough to not be a friend defensive or reactor when accused by someone you make me angry takes knowing yourself very well it mean that you need that skill to reflect on your actions The other person's action and the dynamics created amongst them.
• gold number 2
listen listen listen many people think that a communicating is a mostly about telling other people about yourself they talk and talk about them self being in love with their own voice they don't notice that they may come across as self obsessed person what what did totally over look is that the most important part in communicating is a listening listening is a not just waiting for your turn to speak by listening actively you're so the other person you care it is one of the greatest gift you can give another person it is a one of the most healing and something experience you can provide.
• golden rule number 3
don't treat an assumption as a fact people of 10 have idea about what that thing is going on for the other person and don't think for moment to check there is option out for example he did not ring that means he does not love me if he would love me ye he would know how important it is for me that he rings well sometimes somebody not what is rrinking just mean didn't ring.you have to check it out with the other person don't act upon the story you have made up in your head we usually call that a fairy tail rule number three is certainly e not easy to master most people are convinced that their evolution of an incident it is right on top of that they are usually so insecure and have a such low self esteem that they can't be real not to be right so they end up in a yes you have- no I haven't-yes you have-no I haven't"conversation that leads to nothing but frustration.
• golden rule number 4
be clear when you ask for something George bernhard shaw said the problem with communication is is that people believe it has already happened indeed a person may say I need much more support from you and things they have been perfectly clear about their request get support could meen a million things to a million people it's great to communicate I need example support communication peace warmth space .for the other person to know how you would like to be a supported for example you will have to request a specific action could you go with me to the dentist. remember the other person is a not a mind reader.
I am convinced that heart of the problems between couples are friends are based on people expecting the partner to know what the mean it's almost as if they want to go back to the time of being 3 months old in fat whose mother Intuits all the time what it is the the baby needs the forget that it's easy to do for a new mother considering the needs of the baby being limited to food rest warmth and carrying touch. guessing adult needs in similar ways in impossible.
• golden rule number 5
focus on what you want be mindful of how you express your wishes and your requests a mistake of 10 weed is that people express their wishes in negative forms and then expect the other person to know what they want I don't want you to use this phone it's like going into restaurant and ordering I don't want to spaghetti value better express what you want to you and not what you don't want if you don't want to go home Hungary.it is a surprising how often people talk about the things they don't want rather than saying it is a surprising how of 10 people talk about the things they don't want rather than saving what it is a they want how about you do a small private research project and observe for a week or two how after you are someone else focuses on what they don't want?
• golden rule number 6
making I- statements you heard it all making I statements is the beard and butter of communication skills yet it is a astounding how many people don't follow that rule when they share their experiences their their use the non committal you and thereby communication their experience from a once removed position making ice statements is far mre intimate and both you and the person you communicate with will be a more connected to what you choose to share.
• golden rule number 7
learn about yourself when we communicate with another person we cannot be influenced by our personal experience if you want to relate to the person that is standing in front of you you need to lose which of your feelings and perception belong to that person and to the here and now and which of them belong to people and experiences from your past if you struggle more of 10th with communication issues it might be a good idea to see a counselor psychotherapist to help you to understand the link between your current reactions and your past experiences.
it's not about you what someone else say or does to your is never about you don't take what another person say personally you only run the risk to become defensive and the situation will most likely escalated into conflict people only communicate from their own history and their own needs what can you do look for the deeper underline meaning of the communication what is the other persons needs mastering rule number 1 is certainly not easy to be self aware enough and detached enough to not be a friend defensive or reactor when accused by someone you make me angry takes knowing yourself very well it mean that you need that skill to reflect on your actions The other person's action and the dynamics created amongst them.
• gold number 2
listen listen listen many people think that a communicating is a mostly about telling other people about yourself they talk and talk about them self being in love with their own voice they don't notice that they may come across as self obsessed person what what did totally over look is that the most important part in communicating is a listening listening is a not just waiting for your turn to speak by listening actively you're so the other person you care it is one of the greatest gift you can give another person it is a one of the most healing and something experience you can provide.
• golden rule number 3
don't treat an assumption as a fact people of 10 have idea about what that thing is going on for the other person and don't think for moment to check there is option out for example he did not ring that means he does not love me if he would love me ye he would know how important it is for me that he rings well sometimes somebody not what is rrinking just mean didn't ring.you have to check it out with the other person don't act upon the story you have made up in your head we usually call that a fairy tail rule number three is certainly e not easy to master most people are convinced that their evolution of an incident it is right on top of that they are usually so insecure and have a such low self esteem that they can't be real not to be right so they end up in a yes you have- no I haven't-yes you have-no I haven't"conversation that leads to nothing but frustration.
• golden rule number 4
be clear when you ask for something George bernhard shaw said the problem with communication is is that people believe it has already happened indeed a person may say I need much more support from you and things they have been perfectly clear about their request get support could meen a million things to a million people it's great to communicate I need example support communication peace warmth space .for the other person to know how you would like to be a supported for example you will have to request a specific action could you go with me to the dentist. remember the other person is a not a mind reader.
I am convinced that heart of the problems between couples are friends are based on people expecting the partner to know what the mean it's almost as if they want to go back to the time of being 3 months old in fat whose mother Intuits all the time what it is the the baby needs the forget that it's easy to do for a new mother considering the needs of the baby being limited to food rest warmth and carrying touch. guessing adult needs in similar ways in impossible.
• golden rule number 5
focus on what you want be mindful of how you express your wishes and your requests a mistake of 10 weed is that people express their wishes in negative forms and then expect the other person to know what they want I don't want you to use this phone it's like going into restaurant and ordering I don't want to spaghetti value better express what you want to you and not what you don't want if you don't want to go home Hungary.it is a surprising how often people talk about the things they don't want rather than saying it is a surprising how of 10 people talk about the things they don't want rather than saving what it is a they want how about you do a small private research project and observe for a week or two how after you are someone else focuses on what they don't want?
• golden rule number 6
making I- statements you heard it all making I statements is the beard and butter of communication skills yet it is a astounding how many people don't follow that rule when they share their experiences their their use the non committal you and thereby communication their experience from a once removed position making ice statements is far mre intimate and both you and the person you communicate with will be a more connected to what you choose to share.
• golden rule number 7
learn about yourself when we communicate with another person we cannot be influenced by our personal experience if you want to relate to the person that is standing in front of you you need to lose which of your feelings and perception belong to that person and to the here and now and which of them belong to people and experiences from your past if you struggle more of 10th with communication issues it might be a good idea to see a counselor psychotherapist to help you to understand the link between your current reactions and your past experiences.
The gold rules of communication
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Reviewed by A Learner
on
June 22, 2019
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